Spirituality, Therapy, and the Good Life

The Centre for Clinical Interventions offers a number of online toolkits on topics that many people struggle with. “These InfoPax consist of modules that you can complete online, or you can save the modules to your computer and work through them onscreen in your own time. Alternatively, you can print out the modules and work through them by hand.”

“Back from the Bluez: Coping with Depression” provides information about depression as well as strategies for coping with depression through a series of modules designed for people to work through in sequence and contain information, worksheets, and recommended activities or exercises.

The modules include the following:

Module 1: Overview of Depression
Module 2: Behavioural Strategies for Managing Depression
Module 3: The Thinking-Feeling Connection
Module 4: The ABC Analysis
Module 5: Unhelpful Thinking Styles
Module 6: Detective Work and Disputation
Module 7: The End Result
Module 8: Core Beliefs
Module 9: Self Management

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“We are social beings who grow in relation to others; we are defined through our relationships with them. Our ancestors lived their lives in the bosom of a supportive tribe. Every need was met within the context of that tribe. The tribe was community. When we moved out of tribes and into extended families, and then into nuclear families, we gained greater freedom and mobility, but something was lost: a fundamental sense of security based on the experience of belonging. We must seek to rediscover and recover community in our lives.”

Wayne Teasdale, A Monk in the World.

In a TED talk Rachel Botsman, author of, “What’s Mine is Yours” encourages us to become collaborative consumers. From my perspective, Botsman makes tremendous sense not only from an environmental and economic standpoint, but from a psychological, emotional, and moral stand point as well.

…Both in her book and in her TED talk Botsman asserts that we were born to share and live cooperatively, pointing out that we did just that for thousands of years until a massive cultural shift occurred that led us to compete with one another for the most, the biggest, and the best. In moving from an ethos of cooperation to one of competition, both people and the planet have paid an incalculable price.

Botsman urges us to return to a culture of ‘we’ vs. a culture of ‘me’ and celebrates a peer to peer sharing revolution that is growing across the world at extraordinary rates, spurred by the following: (1) a renewed recognition of the importance of community, (2) the growth of peer to peer social networks made possible by real time technology, (3) growing environmental issues that are very rapidly moving from concerns to crisis, and (4) the global recession.

In her thought provoking and hopeful talk she concludes, “I believe we’re actually in a period where we’re waking up from this humongous hangover of emptiness and waste, and we’re taking a leap to create a more sustainable system built to serve our innate needs for community and individual identity. I believe it will be referred to as a revolution, so to speak — when society, faced with great challenges, made a seismic shift from individual getting and spending towards a rediscovery of collective good.”

After listening to her talk I was inspired to do some research of my own and have located the following 16 resources that I would encourage you to explore. They may change your life, and if they continue to grow and to flourish, they will change our world.

http://www.swap.com/userhome/
http://www.freecycle.org/
http://www.carsharing.net/
http://www.ecomodo.com/
http://swishing.com/
http://www.timebanks.org/
http://lourish.com/
http://www.skillshare.com/learn
http://www.couchsurfing.org/
http://www.crashpadder.com/
http://www.airbnb.com/
http://www.lendingclub.com/home.action
http://1bog.org/
http://www.timebanks.org/
http://localcircles.org/
http://onthecommons.org/make-shift-finding-job-crafting-livelihood

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In “Good News for Bad Days,” Father Paul Keenan writes that when we feel stuck in our lives, empty, trapped on a path without heart, it is our shackled soul crying out to us to free it, and identifies the following as symptoms of the soul’s wounds.

Fatigue – a weariness that isn’t assuaged by sleep and whispers to us that our energy is being taken in a wrong direction.

Anger – we are frequently frustrated, all too often irritable and resentful, bent by the weight of the monkey on our backs.

Restlessness – haunted by a need to change, to do something different, to move, but without a clear sense of what and how and where.

Fear – we live in an almost constant state of free floating anxiety, afraid to lose what we’re not even sure that we want, afraid to fail, afraid to succeed.

Boredom – life offers little joy. We find ourselves going through the motions, our senses of awe and wonder dulled almost beyond recognition.

Depression – We are depleted, defeated, dejected, adrift…

Denial – We don’t want to face what we don’t understand, what threatens us, what beckons us, and so we tell ourselves that this is just a passing phase, things will get better when…..

Keenan asserts that when we make the choice to acknowledge and open to the call of our souls, we awaken to possibilities. Keenan writes, “Rather than being occasions of panic and discouragement, our points of being stuck are what we bring to the table of life….The experience of being stuck gives us the opportunity to pause, to reflect, and to map the journey we have been undertaking…We can take the opportunity to ask ourselves what limits we want to surpass, what new directions we want to pursue. It can be a call to adventure, to new horizons and new life…”

I am reminded here of the Celtic Code of Living which states, “Your life is a gift and a pilgrimage; see every day, every event, every moment, and every act as a renewable point in time offering you a new beginning.” Even our stuck places can serve as sign posts that guide us on our way.

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A young activist completely overwhelmed by the pain that surrounds her shared her anguish and discouragement with me recently, and I felt my own heart stir and open to the breaking of hers. I have felt the despair that now occupies her body and soul. I remembered sitting in a dark movie theater crying inconsolably while my poor sweet husband held my hand. He could touch me, but not reach me. I was lost . Lost to the cruelty and greed of my fellow humans; lost to the dying of my troubled and still beautiful world. There seem to be no words which can possibly speak for or to this terrible breaking.

In “How to Lead with a Broken Heart,” Joseph DiCenso writes of crying as he sits in a group of thirty-six men and women trying to “name the ache I feel for the state of the world. My grief over the gap between what could be and what is… The species, peoples, cultures, wisdom – dying, disappeared. How it sometimes feels like I’m living a long goodbye. …What does it take to lead from this place? Broken. Open. Stymied. …How do I break open and not apart?”

DiCenso begins with the question, “how can I lead with a broken heart?” and ultimately concludes with another , “And how can that leading be an act of joy?” (You can read his powerful and beautiful reflection here ) While he doesn’t provide answers, I am still left with a sense of comfort and hope by the time I leave him. He has served as brother and witness and guide.

Fyodor Dostoevsky observed, “pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart” and Clarissa Pinkola Estes pointed out that, “Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach.” From my perspective, in order to do this most effectively , we will need to continue to open our deep hearts to pain and heartbreak and, most importantly, to love. If we are to commit to the work still ahead on behalf of a broken world, we will need to fully feel our love for it.

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I was asked this morning to recommend a good book for someone suffering from bi-polar disorder and one for his partner. I usually preface my book suggestions by observing that books are similar to people in that some light us up immediately while leaving others cold. For instance, a book that I connected with or found particularly valuable might be boring or confusing to someone else. Thus, I always suggest that folks explore a book that I recommend first before committing to it. And so, satisfied that I’ve added my disclaimer, I’m suggesting the following three books:

The Bipolar Workbook: Tools for Controlling Your Mood Swings

and

The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide, Second Edition: What You and Your Family Need to Know

and

When Someone You Love Is Bipolar: Help and Support for You and Your Partner

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From May 7th through the 13th the shift Network will be sponsoring a free online summit entitled, “The Inspiring Women Summit”

A partial description found on the shift’s website follows:

“…This is perhaps the most exciting time in history to be a woman on this planet. We are part of the vanguard of a new era, one in which women and feminine qualities are restored into partnership with the masculine.

While it’s true that our world faces many crises, never before as women have we had so many tools, resources and freedoms to wake up and consciously evolve ourselves and the world around us. So many of us are realizing that we DO have the power to shape our destiny and usher in a new society — one based on principles of love, cooperation and peace.

It’s truly our time as women to lead – and not out of the old, masculine pattern, but in a way that is juicy, embodied, dynamic, balanced and whole.

So, how can we inspire each other to live our most radiant and fulfilled life and make the greatest impact possible?

Our answer is to put as many as women as possible into deep relationship with other inspiring women across the globe – all for FREE — with the Inspiring Women Summit…

…It’s an occasion to not just honor the feminine spirit outside of ourselves, but to embrace the feminine within and discover the ways we can feed our souls, nurture our bodies and delight our senses WHILE giving our gifts and transforming the world around us.

Join us and you’ll learn from top spiritual and transformational leaders such as Geneen Roth, Lisa Nichols, Barbara Marx Hubbard, Marci Shimoff, Lynne McTaggart, Jean Houston, Brene Brown and Marcia Wieder…

…As each one of us liberates more of our gifts, we can have the juicy, joyful life we know we’re meant to live. We can ALSO powerfully help our culture re-balance itself as we then create a more harmonious relationship with the earth and with one other. Our goal with the Summit is to empower each one of you to take a stand for what we are co-creating together…”

This free event offers several opportunities to be educated, enlightened, and inspired. I’m looking forward to it! If interested, you can register here

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Paul Hawkin gave an extraordinary speech to the graduating class of 2009 in Portland Oregon. You can read his entire speech at Global Mind Shift here. Some of the words that stirred me most follow:

“you are going to have to figure out what it means to be a human being on earth at a time when every living system is declining, and the rate of decline is accelerating…”

“… There is invisible writing on the back of the diploma you will receive, and in case you didn’t bring lemon juice to decode it, I can tell you what it says: You are Brilliant, and the Earth is Hiring. The earth couldn’t afford to send recruiters or limos to your school. It sent you rain, sunsets, ripe cherries, night blooming jasmine, and that unbelievably cute person you are dating. Take the hint. And here’s the deal: Forget that this task of planet-saving is not possible in the time required. Don’t be put off by people who know what is not possible. Do what needs to be done, and check to see if it was impossible only after you are done…”

“… for the first time in history a group of people organized themselves to help people they would never know, from whom they would never receive direct or indirect benefit. And today tens of millions of people do this every day. It is called the world of non-profits, civil society, schools, social entrepreneurship, non-governmental organizations, and companies who place social and environmental justice at the top of their strategic goals. The scope and scale of this effort is unparalleled in history…”

“The living world is not “out there” somewhere, but in your heart…”

“…Ralph Waldo Emerson once asked what we would do if the stars only came out once every thousand years. No one would sleep that night, of course. The world would create new religions overnight. We would be ecstatic, delirious, made rapturous by the glory of God. Instead, the stars come out every night and we watch television.”

(and his final words)

“This extraordinary time when we are globally aware of each other and the multiple dangers that threaten civilization has never happened, not in a thousand years, not in ten thousand years. Each of us is as complex and beautiful as all the stars in the universe. We have done great things and we have gone way off course in terms of honoring creation. You are graduating to the most amazing, stupefying challenge ever bequested to any generation. The generations before you failed. They didn’t stay up all night. They got distracted and lost sight of the fact that life is a miracle every moment of your existence. Nature beckons you to be on her side. You couldn’t ask for a better boss. The most unrealistic person in the world is the cynic, not the dreamer. Hope only makes sense when it doesn’t make sense to be hopeful. This is your century. Take it and run as if your life depends on it.”

Yes, the stars do come out every night and all too often I am reading a book or watching television, too seldom looking upward or even inward. Too often busy with things that really aren’t all that important in the grand scheme of things. While I was born in the last century, this is my century too. I live and breathe and love here.

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I ran across a wonderful poem yesterday at the Celebrating Poets Over Seventy website

It reminded again of how much of our experience is shaped by our perceptions and of how each and every day provides opportunities for celebration and renewal regardless of our age. The poem follows.

I Don’t Do Old

there are things to do,
lilies to grow.
Stella d’ore’s blooms
are my galaxy.
irises’ blue . . . fill
my eyes with
ecstasy,
i don’t do old
i do global warming
with Suzuki, Schindler
and Al Gore’s concern
with climates
in crisis.
my affinity is with
the arctic – ice, melt, water,
polar bears
drowning –
i don’t do old.
god’s creativity,
and ideas light
my spirit.
art, literature
can fill me
with awe.
life is sweet,
never, i will
never age out,
i don’t do old.
kindness spins
my web,
altruism, a.i.d.s, h.i.v.,
world poverty
are my bonds . . .
entanglements of
laughter are the gossamer
threads that
tie my connections together . . .
i won’t do old

– sterling haynes

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In a TED talk Nick Marks, statistician, well-being researcher, and author of The Happiness Manifesto: How Nations and People Can Nurture Well Being” wants to know why we measure a nation’s success by its productivity rather than by the well-being of its citizens, and urges us to support policy that makes the well-being of people and the planet a priority. He asserts that, “we need to enter a period of Great Transition towards creating a sustainable and socially just society that has high levels of well-being for all.”

Acccording to Marks there are five things that we should each do every day to increase our well-being. They are: “the first of these is to connect,…your social relationships are the most important cornerstones of your life. Do you invest the time with your loved ones that you could do, and energy? Keep building them. The second one is be active. The fastest way out of a bad mood: step outside, go for a walk, turn the radio on and dance. Being active is great for our positive mood. The third one is take notice. How aware are you of things going on around the world, the seasons changing, people around you? Do you notice what’s bubbling up for you and trying to emerge? Based on a lot of evidence for mindfulness, cognitive behavioral therapy, [very] strong for our well being. The fourth is keep learning and keep is important — learning throughout the whole life course. Older people who keep learning and are curious, they have much better health outcomes than those who start to close down. But it doesn’t have to be formal learning; it’s not knowledge based. It’s more curiosity. It can be learning to cook a new dish, picking up an instrument you forgot as a child. Keep learning. And the final one is that most anti-economic of activities, but give. Our generosity, our altruism, our compassion, are all hardwired to the reward mechanism in our brain. We feel good if we give.”

You can watch the video at: http://on.ted.com/96VZ

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