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I believe in morning rituals although I fail all too often these days to engage in them. Still, I can’t stress enough how important they are, how effective they can be in getting me ready to greet my day feeling steadied and grounded, readied (at least for the moment) to really see the beauty before me and committed to greet those I meet with an open heart.

I’ve found both poetry and music to be particularly helpful when initiating one of my first deliberate and conscious acts of the day. I thought I’d share one with you that was written by the late poet, John O’ Donahue entitled, “For the Artist at the Start of the Day.”

“May morning be astir with the harvest of night;
Your mind quickening to the eros of a new question,
Your eyes seduced by some unintended glimpse
That cut right through the surface to a source.

May this be a morning of innocent beginning,
When the gift within you slips clear
Of the sticky web of the personal
With its hurt and its hauntings,
And fixed fortress corners,

A Morning when you become a pure vessel
For what wants to ascend from silence,

May your imagination know
The grace of perfect danger,

To reach beyond imitation,
And the wheel of repetition,

Deep into the call of all
The unfinished and unsolved

Until the veil of the unknown yields
And something original begins
To stir toward your senses
And grow stronger in your heart

In order to come to birth
In a clean line of form,
That claims from time
A rhythm not yet heard,
That calls space to
A different shape.

May it be its own force field
And dwell uniquely
Between the heart and the light

To surprise the hungry eye
By how deftly it fits
About its secret loss.”

~ John O’Donohue ~

O’Donohue reminds me here that every life is a work of art and that att some level we are reborn again and again with each brand new ordinary/extraordinary day….

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As Frank Baird points out, we’re all born into a particular culture and point in history, and each of us makes sense of our lives by situating them in stories. We’re introduced to our cultural stories almost immediately. We’re provided with information from our families, our teachers, and most of all, at least in the case of Americans, we’re taught our culture’s dominant story by the media. This all pervasive story, maintains Baird, comes to dictate what we pay attention to, what we value, how we perceive ourselves and others, and even shapes our very experiences.

By the time American children graduate from high school, its been estimated that they’ve been exposed to a minimum of 360,000 advertisements and by the time we die, we Americans will have spent an entire year of our lives watching television commercials.

George Gerbner, professor of Communications and Dean Emeritus of the Annenberg school of Communications in Philadelphia, cautions that the people who tell the predominant stories are ultimately the ones who control how children perceive and even greet their world. Not so long ago, considering the vast history of human kind, we received most of our cultural story from wise elders. Do we truly fathom, I wonder, the significance of the fact that profit driven media has all too often become our primary storyteller? And when we consider what the message of this incredibly powerful storyteller has been, it’s not too difficult to appreciate how much soul our American story has lost, and how very much of our own individual spirits have been silenced by a story told hundreds of times every day in this country, a story whose title is undeniably, “buy me.”

Jung reflected once that his work as a healer didn’t truly begin until he recognized that the key to our personalities resides within our stories. Further, at the core of each human being there exists a unique and sacred story, and until we actively shape and live out this singular story, our lives will lack the direction and meaning we so long for. If we lose this story of ours, or fail to live it, ultimately the very purpose of our lives can slip away.

Every now and then I wonder just how much of my own story has been lost to the dominant story of my culture. I can identify so many aspects of my life where my own wisdom has been sacrificed to a story I was born into and to which I possessed few authorship rights.

And then, there’s the story I was first introduced to over twenty years ago when I began my training as a psychotherapist. A story that stressed that the ‘patient’ was sick or broken and needed to be fixed, rather than that the ‘client’ was in process and was responding to the world in which he or she lived. A story that stressed the wholeness of the person and celebrated the strength and the courage of someone earnestly attempting to cope with a story that required healing rather than a broken self in need of repair.

James Hillman in “We’ve Had a Hundred Years of Psychotherapy” declared that most psychotherapy models do something vicious to the people whom they are meant to serve – they internalize emotion. How? By so often turning the anger and pain brought on by the injustice, chaos, poverty, pollution, corruption, etc. which surrounds us into personal demons and inadequacies. For instance, offers Hillman, imagine that a client has arrived at his therapist’s office shaken and outraged because while driving a compact car, he was almost run off the road by a speeding truck. The outcome of this scenario, asserts Hillman, all too often leads to an exploration of how the truck reminds the client of being pushed around by his father, or that he’s always felt vulnerable and fragile, or perhaps his indignation stems from his resentment that he isn’t as powerful as ‘the other guy’. In this case, the therapist ends up converting the client’s feelings (in response to an external experience) into anxiety – an inner state. The therapist in Hillman’s example also transmutes the present into the past (the client’s feelings are really about unresolved issues from childhood) and transforms the clients outrage about the chaos, the craziness, and the dangers of the client’s outer world into rage and hostility. Thus, the client’s pain regarding an actual event has once again been turned inward. It’s become pathology (illness)

How often is a client’s anger, sadness and or grief about the condition of our climate, our economy, the corruption of our leaders, or the death of innocent children in war torn countries labeled as the result of a mental illness requiring medication?

I’ve thought a great deal about Hillman since learning of his recent death and have come to freshly appreciate his wisdom. He maintained that a significant amount of what therapist’s have been trained to view as individual pathology, is often an indication of the sickness that exists within our culture. In doing so, Hillman asserts, “We continue to locate all symptoms universally within the patient rather than also within the soul of the world. Maybe the system has to be brought into line with the symptoms so that the system no longer functions as a repression of the soul, forcing the soul to rebel in order to be noticed.”

When we begin to explore and to acknowledge the stories we prefer to honor and to live, we embrace an empowering and creative process. This evolving story is based upon our own experiences and values. We’re no longer simply ‘readers’, passively accepting the rules and explanations of others, we become authors too. As we begin to more actively author our own story, we begin to more fully claim it.

Thomas Berry wrote, “We are in trouble just now because we are in-between stories. The Old Story – the account of how the world came to be and how we fit into it – sustained us for a long time. It shaped our emotional attitudes, provided us with life purpose, energized action, consecrated suffering, integrated knowledge, and guided education. We awoke in the morning and knew where we were. We could answer the questions of our children. But now it is no longer functioning properly, and we have not yet learned the New Story.”

We need to compose stories that inspire us and that serve to teach and to heal and in doing so we are better able to support our clients as they endeavor to create stories of their own.

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On December 29th from 7:00 to 9:00 I’ll be offering a free class at SagePlace entitled, ““What Happy People Know:The Art and Science of Happiness.” The class will explore lessons taken from both ancient wisdom and modern science about what the happiest people know, do and believe and how we too can achieve the greatest level of well-being.

To sign up, just call 207-620-0792. I may also offer a free online course in the future as well.

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It’s another absolutely beautiful autumn day here in Maine. I’m sitting in the sun with an old friend who is lamenting the onset of winter. While I’m not a fan of winter either, and can appreciate her reluctance to face another cold and snowy season, I’m also struck by all that I suspect she’ll miss if she continues to resist the inevitable. I’m reminded of the wisdom of Shauna Niequest who wrote in Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace, and Learning the Hard Way
, “Use what you have, use what the world gives you. Use the first day of fall: bright flame before winter’s deadness; harvest; orange, gold, amber; cool nights and the smell of fire. Our tree-lined streets are set ablaze, our kitchens filled with the smells of nostalgia: apples bubbling into sauce, roasting squash, cinnamon, nutmeg, cider, warmth itself. The leaves as they spark into wild color just before they die are the world’s oldest performance art, and everything we see is celebrating one last violently hued hurrah before the black and white silence of winter.”

Niequest reminds us of the importance of not only savoring our gifts, but also of receiving what comes our way with an open heart – even winter, even the darkness…

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Worried about the earth and the economy? Spend five minutes viewing the above video produced by The Center for a New American Dream for some excellent information and inspiration based on Juliet Schor’s excellent book, “Plentitude: The New Economics of True Wealth.” You can also read her blog , view her lecture , and read more about her book.

We need to continually be inspired right now as we live through this tumultuous time in history, and we need to seize hold of our sense of purpose far more than we need to hold onto our fear and anger.

As protests rage on around the world, I am reminded of the following true story about A.J. Muste, pacifist and activist who stood in front of the White House night after night with a candle during the Vietnam War. One rainy night a reporter asked him, “do you really think you are going to change the policies of this country by standing out here alone at night with a candle?” To which Muste replied, “Oh, I don’t do it to change the country, I do it so the country won’t change me.” As more and more of us stand together in peaceful protest, I am hoping that we ask ourselves, “How has our current consumer culture changed us, what profound price have we paid to sustain it, and what is it now that we must reclaim?

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The above is a presentation by Andrew Solomon, author of “The Noon Day Demon” at Beth Isreal Hospital talking about his struggle with major depression. Solomon gave the following advice to those struggling with depression during an interview with PBS.

“First piece of advice: Deal with it early. Don’t wait until it escalates out of control. Like any illness, it’s easier to treat before it becomes acute.

Second piece of advice: Find the right therapist and psychopharmacologist. Sometimes that’s one person and sometimes it’s two people; seek the best. There a lot of bad treatments and too many incompetent shrinks, so if you’re not getting better, try seeing someone else. It’s exhausting and annoying shopping around, but as in all other areas of life, there are some people who are highly skilled and others who just aren’t very good. There are also people who work well for one patient and aren’t right for another.

Third piece of advice: If you have a chronic condition, treat it in the long-term. Have the courage to stay on your meds, and don’t be tricked into thinking that brave people get better on their own. If you had lung cancer, you wouldn’t try to cure it by breathing carefully. Don’t trivialize depression. Remember that it can be fatal: A large number of depressed people commit suicide.

Fourth piece of advice: Don’t keep it all a big secret. Depression is stressful and keeping secrets is stressful. But tell people selectively and carefully. Some people can deal with it and others can’t. And get yourself a support structure. Love won’t cure depression, but it will make it a whole lot easier to tolerate.”

You can watch the PBS program, “Out of the Shadows” which featured Andrews here.

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As a grandmother, I’m always looking for things to do, places to go, ways to teach, and resources to enhance Skylar’s and Willow’s well-being. Here are two that I want to share with you today (every now and then I’ll add more.)

The first is Raising Happiness a terrific website that provides a great deal of information for parents and describes itself as, “Science for Joyful Kids and Happier Parents.”

You can watch one of the many videos available at the “Raising Happiness” website at the top of this post.

The second resource is the CD, “Be Happy: Fun Music For Fun Kids” by Stacey Crumrine, founder of Positively Kids. Willow and Sky particularly love the song, “Doggie” and “I Feel Great.” Willow insisted on listening to the CD in the car on the way to pick apples yesterday. And we all had fun ‘chair dancing’ to the tune, “Happie Boogie,” which most definitley put each of us in a positive frame of mind!

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Few words have moved me more than the following written by poet and author Ellen Bass,

“to love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you’ve held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.”
― Ellen Bass

I read those words and something inside of me opened up and whispered, “Yes. Yes! This is our most necessary practice, our deepest calling -to take our own ordinary/extraordinary lives into our arms and hold them close to our hearts. Even when they hurt. Especially when they hurt…

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Krista Tippett interviewed neuroscientist Richard Davidson in an episode entitled, “Investigating Healthy Minds” on one of my favorite public broadcasting programs, Being

On the program Davidson spoke with Tippett about how discoveries in neuroscience are demonstrating how we can change our brains in ways that can not only improve the quality of our experiences, but can also significantly improve the quality of our lives.

I encourage you to listen to the broadcast and will include here Davidson’s comments on psychotherapy copied from the broadcast transcript.

“Ms. Tippett: So, you know, I know that you’ve been honored by the American Psychological Association, and I wonder how does your work inform the work of psychotherapy? You know, are you learning things about actually changing the brain, about influencing the mind and influencing ourselves biologically with behaviors that might, I don’t know, circumvent, transcend, or somehow enrich the ways we already know to work with, who we are and how healthy we are and how we live?

Dr. Davidson: Well, you know, I’d like to believe that some of the work that we do may have some implications or relevance for kind of on-the-ground, in-the-trenches psychotherapy or related strategies for behavior change in several ways. One is a kind of meta-level which helps a client or patient understand that, based upon everything we know about the brain in neuroscience, that change is not only possible, but change is actually the rule rather than the exception. It’s really just a question of which influences we’re going to choose for our brain. But our brain is wittingly or unwittingly being continuously shaped. Another thing is the idea of practice. The classical model of Western psychotherapy which is, you know, a client coming to a therapist for an hour a week for a 50-minute session without doing daily practice in between just flies in the face of everything we know about the brain and plasticity.

Ms. Tippett: That’s really interesting, isn’t it?

Dr. Davidson: It is. So if we want to make real change, that’s not a good prescription for doing it. If we want to make real change, more systematic practice is necessary, in my view. This is something that comes directly from neuroscience. And I think that certain kinds of psychological therapies are now understanding that, so certain kinds of cognitive therapies, for example, do assign specific kinds of homework or practice for people to engage in on a daily basis. So I think there’s growing recognition of that.”

As a therapist, I’m acutely aware of the limitations of psychotherapy without practice, and the growing body of knowledge that supports these findings provides challenges and hope to therapists and clients alike. May we embrace them both.

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I sat with a young woman recenlty who continues to suffer from events that occurred long ago. She shared with me that she longs to be happy, but doesn’t know how. Of course, there is no simple answer that I can offer her. There is a quote by Robert Holden that I shared with her on that achingly beautiful late summer morning, one in which there was no place that she needed to go, and nothing on the afternoon’s agenda that she needed to do. The rest of the day was hers to shape as she chose. The quote was, ““Suffering is a decision not to let go of the past yet. Happiness is a decision to step into the present now.”

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