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A young man emailed me this evening asking me the age old question, “why did this (a bad thing) happen to me?” Part of my response included a quote from Harlod Kushner that I whole heartedly agree with, and thougtht I would share here in this blog.

“Let me suggest that the bad things that happen to us in our lives
do not have a meaning when they happen to us. They do not happen
for any good reason which would cause us to accept them willingly.
But we can give them a meaning. We can redeem these tragedies
from senselessness by imposing meaning on them. The question we
should be asking is not, ‘What did I do to deserve this?’ That is really an unanswerable, pointless question. A better question would be, ‘Now that this has happened to me, what am I going to do about it?’”

Harold Kushner, “When Bad Things Happen to Good People”

While there are so seldom satisfying answers, and all too many quesitons, the most important question must eventually become, “what now?”

When Bad Things Happen to Good People

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University of California television offers a number of informative programs that can be viewed online on a wide variety of topics. I thought I’d very briefly outline a few that are available which address dealing with anxiety and stress.

UCT Recently aired a program entitled, “Worrying Well” which can be viewed here . The program is described as follows: “Physician, author, speaker, researcher, and consultant Martin L. Rossman, MD, discusses how to use the power of the healing mind to reduce stress and anxiety, relieve pain, change lifestyle habits…”

Coping With Stress: Cognitive-Behavioral Stress Reduction is a very practical and informative presentation provides effective strategies for dealing with stress and anxiety.

Jon Kabat-Zinn’s presentation, Coming to Our Senses
offers an excellent overview of mindfulness meditation, stress reduction, and the application of ancient Buddhist practices to healing.

In Positive Emotion in the Midst of Stress: Its Not Crazy it’s Adaptive social psychologist Judith Moskowitz explores how positive emotions can be used to more effectively cope with stress.

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University of California television offers a number of informative programs that can be viewed online on a wide variety of topics. I thought I’d very briefly outline a few that are available which address dealing with anxiety and stress.

UCT Recently aired a program entitled, “Worrying Well” which can be viewed here . The program is described as follows: “Physician, author, speaker, researcher, and consultant Martin L. Rossman, MD, discusses how to use the power of the healing mind to reduce stress and anxiety, relieve pain, change lifestyle habits…”

Coping With Stress: Cognitive-Behavioral Stress Reduction is a very practical and informative presentation provides effective strategies for dealing with stress and anxiety.

Jon Kabat-Zinn’s presentation, Coming to Our Senses
offers an excellent overview of mindfulness meditation, stress reduction, and the application of ancient Buddhist practices to healing.

In Positive Emotion in the Midst of Stress: Its Not Crazy it’s Adaptive social psychologist Judith Moskowitz explores how positive emotions can be used to more effectively cope with stress.

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“The Misunderstood Epidemic: Depression” airs on PBS on March 25 at 9:00 PM. Considering that one in four women and one in eight men reportedly suffer from depression in the US, this is an important program to view.

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Psychotherapy Brown Bag recently wrote about a wonderful online resource that provides instructions on the implementation of cognitive processing therapy in working with individuals suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. This free course can be found at http://cpt.musc.edu/index .

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Psychotherapy Brown Bag recently wrote about a wonderful online resource that provides instructions on the implementation of cognitive processing therapy in working with individuals suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. This free course can be found at http://cpt.musc.edu/index .

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Writing Through the Darkness: Easing Your Depression with Paper and PenThere has been a significant amount of research indicating that writing promotes both emotional and physical healing.

In “Writing Through the Darkness: Easing your Depression with Paper and Pen,” author Elizabeth Maynard Schafer cites a number of studies which support that writing about traumatic events can ultimately improve mood, reduce blood pressure, increase immune system functioning, alter brain wave patterns, reduce pain, and more (pp. 36-38). Schafer also writes about her own struggles with depression and offers a number of approaches to writing as well as writing prompts, recommendations, resources, and suggestions for the creation and maintenance of a writing group for those with mood disorders. She also maintained a blog and while she is no longer updating it, it contains some wonderful writing prompts for use either individually and within a group. I’ll be using some her prompts during the 12 – week group that I plan on offering beginning in April for those who struggle with depression.

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Writing Through the Darkness: Easing Your Depression with Paper and PenThere has been a significant amount of research indicating that writing promotes both emotional and physical healing.

In “Writing Through the Darkness: Easing your Depression with Paper and Pen,” author Elizabeth Maynard Schafer cites a number of studies which support that writing about traumatic events can ultimately improve mood, reduce blood pressure, increase immune system functioning, alter brain wave patterns, reduce pain, and more (pp. 36-38). Schafer also writes about her own struggles with depression and offers a number of approaches to writing as well as writing prompts, recommendations, resources, and suggestions for the creation and maintenance of a writing group for those with mood disorders. She also maintained a blog and while she is no longer updating it, it contains some wonderful writing prompts for use either individually and within a group. I’ll be using some her prompts during the 12 – week group that I plan on offering beginning in April for those who struggle with depression.

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In her book, My Stroke of Insight, Harvard trained brain scientist, Jill Bolte Taylor shares significant insights about the brain and mind that she gained after experiencing and recovering from a stroke in 1996. While the book offers some fascinating information regarding how the right brain and left brain both differ and work together, what stroke victims experience, what they most need, and how we can very naturally attain a deep inner piece, I’d like to focus on one particular discovery – the power of our minds to alter our experiences.

Taylor points out that while “there are certain limbic system (emotional) programs that can be triggered automatically, it takes less than 90 seconds for one of these programs to be triggered, surge through our body, and then be completely flushed out of our blood stream.” Our anger response is one of those emotional programs that can be triggered automatically. Once it’s triggered, certain chemicals are released by our brains and course through our bodies, creating an automatic physiological response. However, within 90 seconds the chemical component of our anger has completely dissipated from our bloodstream and our automatic response is over. If, on the other hand, we remain angry after the initial 90 seconds have passed, it’s because we’ve chosen to allow this circuit to keep running. Each moment, we make the choice to either tie into our neurocircuitry or shift back into the present moment, permitting our anger to dissolve as passing physiology. We unconsciously make decisions about how we’ll respond to situations that we find ourselves in all of the time. We can spiral into reactivity or consciously choose to respond by bringing our attention back to the present moment.

Taylor suggests that when our brains begin a loop that feels “harshly judgmental, counter-productive, or out of control,” we wait 90 seconds for the physiological/emotional process to dissipate and then inform our brains that while we appreciate its ability to feel feelings and think thoughts, we’re not interested in feeling these feelings or thinking these thoughts anymore. We then ask it to please stop bringing them to our attention. In making this request, we’re consciously asking our brains to stop getting stuck in unhelpful thought patterns. Another option is to use the thought stopping techniuqe or the five R’s technique (recognize, refuse, relax, reframe, resume) http://www.performanceprime.com/performance-04_negative_thought_stopping.php

Taylor writes, “I believe it is vital to our health that we pay very close attention to how much time we spend hooked into the circuitry of anger, or the depths of despair. Getting caught up in these emotionally charged loops for long periods of time can have devastating consequences on our physical and mental well-being because of the power they have over our emotional and physiological circuitry. However… it is equally important that we honor these emotions when they surge through us…The healthiest way I know how to move through an emotion effectively is to surrender completely to that emotion when its loop of physiology comes over me. I simply resign to the loop and let it run its course of 90 seconds. Just like children, emotions heal when they are heard and validated. Over time, the intensity and frequency of these circuits usually abate.” She then makes a conscious choice to return her thoughts to the present moment.

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In her book, My Stroke of Insight, Harvard trained brain scientist, Jill Bolte Taylor shares significant insights about the brain and mind that she gained after experiencing and recovering from a stroke in 1996. While the book offers some fascinating information regarding how the right brain and left brain both differ and work together, what stroke victims experience, what they most need, and how we can very naturally attain a deep inner piece, I’d like to focus on one particular discovery – the power of our minds to alter our experiences.

Taylor points out that while “there are certain limbic system (emotional) programs that can be triggered automatically, it takes less than 90 seconds for one of these programs to be triggered, surge through our body, and then be completely flushed out of our blood stream.” Our anger response is one of those emotional programs that can be triggered automatically. Once it’s triggered, certain chemicals are released by our brains and course through our bodies, creating an automatic physiological response. However, within 90 seconds the chemical component of our anger has completely dissipated from our bloodstream and our automatic response is over. If, on the other hand, we remain angry after the initial 90 seconds have passed, it’s because we’ve chosen to allow this circuit to keep running. Each moment, we make the choice to either tie into our neurocircuitry or shift back into the present moment, permitting our anger to dissolve as passing physiology. We unconsciously make decisions about how we’ll respond to situations that we find ourselves in all of the time. We can spiral into reactivity or consciously choose to respond by bringing our attention back to the present moment.

Taylor suggests that when our brains begin a loop that feels “harshly judgmental, counter-productive, or out of control,” we wait 90 seconds for the physiological/emotional process to dissipate and then inform our brains that while we appreciate its ability to feel feelings and think thoughts, we’re not interested in feeling these feelings or thinking these thoughts anymore. We then ask it to please stop bringing them to our attention. In making this request, we’re consciously asking our brains to stop getting stuck in unhelpful thought patterns. Another option is to use the thought stopping techniuqe or the five R’s technique (recognize, refuse, relax, reframe, resume) http://www.performanceprime.com/performance-04_negative_thought_stopping.php

Taylor writes, “I believe it is vital to our health that we pay very close attention to how much time we spend hooked into the circuitry of anger, or the depths of despair. Getting caught up in these emotionally charged loops for long periods of time can have devastating consequences on our physical and mental well-being because of the power they have over our emotional and physiological circuitry. However… it is equally important that we honor these emotions when they surge through us…The healthiest way I know how to move through an emotion effectively is to surrender completely to that emotion when its loop of physiology comes over me. I simply resign to the loop and let it run its course of 90 seconds. Just like children, emotions heal when they are heard and validated. Over time, the intensity and frequency of these circuits usually abate.” She then makes a conscious choice to return her thoughts to the present moment.

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